Addicted
by Saku-Yume
Summary: Oneshot songfic based on the song Addicted. Kaoru's point of view. Something that came to me that I had to get down. Hope you like. RR


Addicted

By: Saku-Yume

_It's like you're a drug  
It's like you're a demon I can't face down  
It's like I'm stuck  
It's like I'm running from you all the time  
And I know I let you have all the power  
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around_

Deep blue eyes stared intently forward in the dark night. It was silent in the dojo save for the quiet sounds of nature's twilight outside. She sat up unable to sleep once again. He invaded her dreams and infected her mind. She shook from the power of his presence in her mind…

_It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me_

He drove her into passionate madness. Day in and day out… his deep violet eyes… his fiery red hair… his gentle but powerful manner. He seemed not to notice what he did to her. She did her best to hide it but inside she knew. Inside her she wanted him. Couldn't live without him…

_It's like I can't breathe  
Without you inside of me  
And I know I let you have all the power  
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time_

Alone she could indulge in him - in his memory - but it was never enough. She was unsatisfied. She was always left wanting more. Wanting something she could never have… something she'd never really had and yet was hopelessly addicted to. She trembled. Oh, to have him. Just once. A smile crept across her face. It was torture. Sweet torture.

_I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this_

She stood slowly. Perhaps just once… just once she could…

She silently left her room and made her way deliberately down the hall, her feet softly padding the polished wooden floors. She knew he would feel her. He would know her before she arrived. She stopped at his door and waited a moment.

When he opened the door she looked up and smiled; something new in her eyes…

"Kaoru," his voice broke the silence in an unspoken inquiry.

_I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this_

She kissed him deeply. She could feel how startled he was but she persisted. When he pulled away, slightly shocked, she took the chance to push ahead. She entered his room and slid the door closed behind her.

"M-Miss Kaoru…" he whispered shakily.

"Shhh…" she quieted him sensually. The look in her eyes was one he'd never seen before. She closed in on him and when she was close enough to feel his abbreviated breath on her cheek, she softly kissed his neck. A soft intake of breath betrayed his outward reservation. She smiled to herself and let her light robe fall to the floor.

She opened his robe slowly and felt him stiffen, unsure of what to do. She took every advantage he gave her. She couldn't stop. She wouldn't stop. She was finally getting him… finally…

_It's like I'm lost  
It's like I'm giving up slowly  
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me_

She pressed her warm body to his and inhaled fully. Delicate fingers burned a trail up his taut muscled sides… over his war worn chest… sinewy neck… into his silken hair. She tangled the strands between her fingers and pulled him away from her so her eyes could meet hers.

She saw inquiry, desire, surprise… melting into the warm violet pools that drowned her every single night since he'd stumbled into her life.

_And I know I'll never change my ways  
If I don't give you up now…_

She yielded. She was powerless to him and he didn't even know. She pulled him to her for a deep kiss and she moaned. Just don't stop… Just don't stop… please… don't stop…

He didn't. She felt strong arms around her, albeit slightly unsure. She coaxed him down to the floor and pinned him there. She had him. She could indulge. She could have all of him. And he could not stop her now.

She devoured all of him and felt him respond to her in ways she's only dreamed before. Her intoxication grew… she fell deeper… they went further… he wanted her and had her in every way. He filled her. He consumed her and she consumed him. It was everything she ever needed…

Her nails raked his back as he filled her over and over… their quiet breaths filled the room as they got as close to each other as they could. She wanted all of him, if she could breathe him in she would. She felt his mouth at her neck, tasting her. Her addiction became a necessary obsession. She didn't want it to end…

He was fully committed now. He held nothing back. She took in every moment of it. She felt sadness take over her momentarily. It would end and then what? What would she do? She couldn't live without it now…

Her mind melted into a mixture of everything that had been running through it… she couldn't concentrate on that now… she was here now… it was happening now… she wanted more… more… more…

She threw her head back as she felt every emotion explode inside of her. She held him tightly, not wanting this feeling to end…

As it slowly ebbed she was afraid to look into his eyes… she leaned forward into his chest and kept her eyes closed… maybe if she didn't move it could last forever…

* * *

Suddenly she opened her eyes. Her room was filled with the morning light. She was tucked securely into bed, traces of the previous night mere memories…

Sadness overtook her. Not again… It was never enough…

After she dressed she ventured outside to see him busy at work already.

"Ohayo, Miss Kaoru," he smiled.

"'Morning, Kenshin…" she said solemnly.

He noticed her doleful appearance and walked toward her. "Are you alright, Miss Kaoru?"

She forced a smile and said cheerfully, "of course, Kenshin! Just a touch of morning gloom. Nothing a little kendo practice can't cure." She turned on her heels and headed for the dojo. Kenshin shrugged. He would make her favorite dinner and cheer her up later on. But in the meantime, the laundry called.

* * *

Kaoru swung the bokken at an invisible adversary. She didn't know how much longer she could stand this…

_It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
_

_It's like I'm not me…  
_

_It's like I'm not me…_

Lyrics copyright Kelly Clarkson – "Addicted"


End file.
